Dec 16-22

news & comments
the usual suspects
news of the weird

visual arts

ask tutti
pick up a copy
contact us

back to front page

It’s beginning to look a lot like justice

“My fear is that the right wing is succeeding in destroying sexual harassment law in the same way they destroyed affirmative action legislation. They are using this law to assassinate the president when sexual harassment law has nothing to do with welcome sex.”-- Gloria Steinem

On the eve of one of the most glorious Christmas’s of my life, I have only one concern: How am I going to get 220 members of Congress down my chimney?

Win or lose, up or down, the impeachment travails of William Jefferson “O.J.” Clinton have guaranteed a glorious Christmas morning. When a bunch of second-rate Congressmen impose the standards of the Constitution on a third-rate felon like President Clinton, we have absolute proof that our Founding Fathers created a system that produces quality government from even the poorest of materials.

If you don’t believe Christmas is the season of miracles, how do you explain the surge of metaphysical testosterone in the loins of America’s elected eunuchs, the Republican Congress? Despite a blizzard of bad polls and political attacks, the rag tag troops of the GOP (Motto: Semper Surrender!) have found their Valley Forge. Knees weak and nose running perhaps, but they stand.

So my stocking will be filled with constitutional cheer this Christmas, a holiday made even more exquisite by the unwelcome lumps of coal landing on our liberal elites.

The first gift the Clintonistas will find in their stocking is irony. Ms. Steinem in her comments above notes that the petard upon which the President is hoist is one of hers, i.e., the irrational expansion of the notion of sexual harassment. Steinem’s politics are based on the notion that any male behavior that any female defines as harassment is, de facto, harassment. What a delicious irony that the same woman who preached “It it’s erect, you must reject,” is watching the collapse of the first anointed female-friendly president under the weight of her own policies.

The net result is likely to be doubly-delightful: President Clinton pays the price, and the overly zealous sexual harassment laws may finally be reigned in. Steinem is wrong when she says the President’s case is about “welcome sex.” Paula Jones was unwillingly introduced to the “Lil’ Governor” after being escorted to a hotel room by a state trooper. However, her underlying complain is true: If radical feminists hadn’t made make sexual stupidity a crime, President Clinton would never have been a defendant in a harassment case.

In addition to irony, Clintonites are also receiving a health dose of unintended consequences this year. It took them until Christmas to realize that the problem with convincing Americans that everyone’s a liar is that it’s hard to get them to believe any of your apologies afterward. “Yes, Virginia, there is a semen-stained dress, but this petty President isn’t worth impeaching,” may be a story that turns a few poll numbers, but a President not worth impeaching isn’t really worth keeping, either.

Suddenly, almost magically, my Christmas fantasy is in sight: an impeached president who stays in office. For two more years, President Clinton will be powerless to use his office to promote any expansion of government power. Americans will have yet another year to see how irrelevant government is to their lives. The legacy of Bill Clinton could very well be: No president? No problem!

There is one final lump of coal that the impeachment proceedings are delivering this season, and it will be found in the stocking of every American. It’s a bit of justice.

Clinton allies urging censure claim that impeachment unfairly punishes the American people while censure only punishes the president. “It’s wrong to make the public pay the price for his private sins,” said Elie Wiesel at a meeting of fellow travelers.

Setting aside the dubious accuracy of claims that “millions of people will suffer and die because the Republican Congress wants to get President Clinton for a personal sin,” would it be a bad thing if the American people had to feel a little pain this Christmas?

After all, it’s not Bill Clinton’s fault that we elected a self-absorbed, self-righteous, self-abusing huckster to serve as our president--it’s our fault! We were the ones who chose to ignore his repeated lies and deceits on the campaign trail. We ignored the flood of money from Communist China into his campaign coffers and the bags of Malaysian cash dropped down the chimney of his felonious friends.

In fact, isn’t one of the most compelling reasons for impeachment the need to warn future 43 percent pluralities that electing an inherently bad person to high office is risky business, a momentary overindulgence that may result in the need for constitutional castor oil later on?

As the Clintonistas lay groaning on their sofas this holiday season, as the American people wait for the pain of their political revelry to pass, I will be basking in the glow of the embers of justice. Soon Christmas will be gone and the coals will grow cold again, and we shall forget these lessons, but until then...

Merry Christmas, everyone!


©1998 Free Times Inc. All rights reserved.